What is violence against women?
Violence is not a loss of control or an impulse. It is a chosen behaviour of domination over another, a way to assert power. It is intentional, recurring and cyclical.
Violence takes many forms.
Physical
Any unwanted, unnecessary physical contact causing pain, discomfort or injury.
Psychological or emotional
Any act that causes fear or undermines dignity or self-esteem.
Sexual
Any unwanted or forced sexual activity.
Religious or spiritual
Any tactic used to exert power and control over a woman’s spirituality or religious practice.
Verbal
Inappropriate, embarrassing, offensive, intimidating, threatening or degrading comments.
Using the children
Hurting or threatening to hurt the children, or taking them away to control a woman.
Privilege or social status
Gestures or comments suggesting a woman is inferior because of her socio-economic background.
Environmental
Any tactic that makes a woman afraid in her own environment.
An orchestrated cycle that speeds up over time.
Set in motion by the abuser, this cycle allows him to maintain his domination. It repeats many times and accelerates.
Tension building
The abuser has fits of anger, gives threatening looks, imposes heavy silences.
The victim feels anxious, tries to improve the atmosphere, watches what she does and says.
Crisis
The abuser is violent verbally, psychologically, physically, sexually or economically.
The victim feels humiliated, sad, and experiences the situation as unfair.
Justification
The abuser makes excuses to justify his behaviour.
The victim tries to understand, helps him change, doubts herself and feels responsible.
Honeymoon
The abuser asks for forgiveness, talks about therapy or suicide.
The victim gives him another chance, notices his efforts, changes her own habits.
In most cases, violence gets worse.
It may start with insults and put-downs, then become physical. Escalation can be rapid or take months, even years, and continues when the means of control become ineffective. No woman can predict how the situation will evolve.